I forgot to mention it will be most doubtful if my 16 year old would have a MySpace page and there is no way my 5 or 10 year old will, so in some way it may be a moot point in this house. However, my kids, much to my chagrin sometimes, do not live in a vacuum and that is the worry.
On the other hand, a technology that I like... http://www.totlol.com/ This is essentially a great, kid friendly, filter for You Tube.
And since this post ( and a story about Ohio replacing license plates that contain the letters WTF- yes strange but true) educated me on what WTF means... I can only agree with her and link to her page. If Donald and Ivana Trump with their baker's dozen marriages between them can manage to raise a daughter as exemplary and sensible as Ivanka Trump it certainly can be done. The fact that Paris Hilton is given air to breathe drives me nuts. There should be some way to castigate the mothers of the Parises, Brittneys and Lyndys of the world. The fact that their daughters are a waste of resources is obviously not enough.
Just as I wrote this, CNN posted this.
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
Buy my friends?
Ok this is beyond the pale... I know that I may have some ridiculously antiquated notions as far as friends and friendship go, but the very idea of "owning", & "buying" & "selling" my friends, and ergo their friendship, is such an anathema to me.
Owning people?? humm.... Am I the only one who thinks this a bit outdated ? How can this notion be hip in 2008?
Owning people?? humm.... Am I the only one who thinks this a bit outdated ? How can this notion be hip in 2008?
Buy and sell your friends as 'pets'.
Make your 'pets' hug, punch, and poke each other.
Change your pets' status messages to whatever you want.
Find out how much your friends think you are worth!
Make your 'pets' hug, punch, and poke each other.
Change your pets' status messages to whatever you want.
Find out how much your friends think you are worth!
I tripped across this aspect of My Space today, while looking for the owner of a URL. I think I set up a My Space page for the store, but truthfully, as geeky as I can be, I am over 40 and it shows here. The idea that you have to note every &*^*&% minute of your existence and be plugged into a central DB so as to be "on" with your "friends" 24/7 is lame to me.
Of course, I do envy, just a tad, the 20something who is worth over a billion now for starting Facebook. Be that as it may, I think the pendulum has swung WAY too far. These kids will one day cringe - my heavens- can you imagine having documented for the ages the ideas and mistakes you made from 16-26 (ok 36) ...
This brings me to the next issue... how do I parent my children through this??? Do I really want my 5, 10, or 16 year old thinking she or he is worth $195???
Where will the help be for that one???
Of course, I do envy, just a tad, the 20something who is worth over a billion now for starting Facebook. Be that as it may, I think the pendulum has swung WAY too far. These kids will one day cringe - my heavens- can you imagine having documented for the ages the ideas and mistakes you made from 16-26 (ok 36) ...
This brings me to the next issue... how do I parent my children through this??? Do I really want my 5, 10, or 16 year old thinking she or he is worth $195???
Where will the help be for that one???
Monday, June 23, 2008
Last night...
... at 9:36pm, I returned a phone call and my world changed. My husband and I had been working on the household budget - something I really hate doing - and I had ignored the three calls that had come in during our more-that-a little-aggressive conversation about the cost of life in the 21st century. Upon checking the phone and seeing that it was the same person each time, I decided to take a break from finances and make sure everything was okay. It was not.
She called to tell me that a friend of hers / acquaintance of mine had killed his two children and, subsequently been killed by the police.
Pausing - Did I just write those words? So "matter of fact"....
How could this happen? My six year old was just playing at the park with one of those sweet little boys last week! My son and his son - both fathers at the park.... playing and laughing. My husband came home sharing stories about how much the boys enjoyed each other, how much they looked alike, that they have the same "favorite super heroes." And today - the spokesperson for the sheriff's office says the children suffered "severe injuries." My ears want to close so I cannot hear anymore - and, at the same time, I have to know what happened.
I wish I could say I feel numb. The truth is - I feel everything but that. At different moments, I feel incredible sadness, disbelief, anger, confusion, and fear. My once-so-safe world is not so safe today. What could compel a parent to kill a little child? These kids were 2 and 5. They were babies. More confusing is the fact that they were their father's pride and joy. How does a father who adores his children murder them? My mind can make no sense of this.
It is painfully clear that the parents have been struggling through a separation for months and that the arguments between them may well have been at the core of this tragedy. It makes me ponder the destructive power of love - and the difference between real love and our own need to be loved, at any cost, in order to overcome our own issues of self worth. It also makes me question my ability to accept that some people actually "go insane." I prefer my rose-colored glasses, thank you very much.
I guess I should include the fact that I am a minister and so my first reaction is always to "be there" for whomever is in need. My husband has come to know me well and could tell by my conversation what had happened. He was standing, open-armed, waiting for me when I hung up the phone. I cried...for the children...for the father...for the mother who must somehow find a way to live through this... for the caller who knows her friend was not an evil man but must hear the media describe him as such...and to relieve my own undefined fear.
Fathers are not supposed to kill their children - not in my world, anyway.
The caller took some Valium and went to sleep. My husband and I spent the rest of the evening snuggling our child between us on the couch, watching a Disney movie and doing what we each needed to do to find comfort in the safety of our home, distracting ourselves from a horror almost beyond our comprehension. This morning, we held each other again as the reality of the night before came crashing in.
The phone has begun ringing.
Its now my job to serve - to listen and to comfort. It's my job to help others whose world has been shattered much more than my own. Somehow, as is always the case, Spirit will show me the way. Spirit always does.
Still, in this moment, in this forum, I am not "the minister" - I am a woman and a mother struggling with the primal rage of our world, and grateful for a place to share my own human anguish.
Pausing again - this time to hug a naked little six year old boy who has just crawled out of bed and into my lap to whisper "Good morning, Mommy. Can I watch a movie? Isn't it cool that I had a 'Ben 10' episode for a dream?"
"Good morning, sweet little boy. Yes, that's very cool!"
She called to tell me that a friend of hers / acquaintance of mine had killed his two children and, subsequently been killed by the police.
Pausing - Did I just write those words? So "matter of fact"....
How could this happen? My six year old was just playing at the park with one of those sweet little boys last week! My son and his son - both fathers at the park.... playing and laughing. My husband came home sharing stories about how much the boys enjoyed each other, how much they looked alike, that they have the same "favorite super heroes." And today - the spokesperson for the sheriff's office says the children suffered "severe injuries." My ears want to close so I cannot hear anymore - and, at the same time, I have to know what happened.
I wish I could say I feel numb. The truth is - I feel everything but that. At different moments, I feel incredible sadness, disbelief, anger, confusion, and fear. My once-so-safe world is not so safe today. What could compel a parent to kill a little child? These kids were 2 and 5. They were babies. More confusing is the fact that they were their father's pride and joy. How does a father who adores his children murder them? My mind can make no sense of this.
It is painfully clear that the parents have been struggling through a separation for months and that the arguments between them may well have been at the core of this tragedy. It makes me ponder the destructive power of love - and the difference between real love and our own need to be loved, at any cost, in order to overcome our own issues of self worth. It also makes me question my ability to accept that some people actually "go insane." I prefer my rose-colored glasses, thank you very much.
I guess I should include the fact that I am a minister and so my first reaction is always to "be there" for whomever is in need. My husband has come to know me well and could tell by my conversation what had happened. He was standing, open-armed, waiting for me when I hung up the phone. I cried...for the children...for the father...for the mother who must somehow find a way to live through this... for the caller who knows her friend was not an evil man but must hear the media describe him as such...and to relieve my own undefined fear.
Fathers are not supposed to kill their children - not in my world, anyway.
The caller took some Valium and went to sleep. My husband and I spent the rest of the evening snuggling our child between us on the couch, watching a Disney movie and doing what we each needed to do to find comfort in the safety of our home, distracting ourselves from a horror almost beyond our comprehension. This morning, we held each other again as the reality of the night before came crashing in.
The phone has begun ringing.
Its now my job to serve - to listen and to comfort. It's my job to help others whose world has been shattered much more than my own. Somehow, as is always the case, Spirit will show me the way. Spirit always does.
Still, in this moment, in this forum, I am not "the minister" - I am a woman and a mother struggling with the primal rage of our world, and grateful for a place to share my own human anguish.
Pausing again - this time to hug a naked little six year old boy who has just crawled out of bed and into my lap to whisper "Good morning, Mommy. Can I watch a movie? Isn't it cool that I had a 'Ben 10' episode for a dream?"
"Good morning, sweet little boy. Yes, that's very cool!"
Sunday, June 22, 2008
Am I really first?
Since we're doing this through the lens of mommyhood, yet there are those among us childless or whose nest is empty and thus, career-driven, I will pitch out there my recent career-altering (and possibly life-altering) decision.
For those who do not know me intimately, I am an elementary school principal for a large urban school district - the 7th largest educational bureaucracy in the U.S., in point of fact. For the last two years I have set about improving the efficiency of the systems we employ to handle academic and operational concerns (and never the two should meet, in my humble opinion, as the former is the core of our work and the latter, the great distractor), moving out the door those not there for the sole purpose of serving children, on the children's terms and focusing on instructional strategies that improve teaching and learning. For my work I have been well-paid, as well as gotten payback (in the form of a threatening, harrassing and extortionist letter, anonymous reports to the fraud office that I have been embezzling public funds - mind you, I've also been accused of being the biggest cheapskate with public funds ever b/c I go over every purchase order, limit the travel to conferences of my employees, etc. and constant reports to my boss' office of alleged wrong-doing.)
Enter my old district, a modestly-sized organization serving a mere 60, 000 students. They offer me a school 2.3 miles from home, a pay rise (albeit modest), my girls can walk to their neighborhood school, one month off in the summer with my girls (as opposed to 2 weeks) and more support from the ranks above in the process of weeding out the poor quality teachers.
A gift from above right? License to have a better work/life balance, right? Then why am I so upset about letting go? Is it that I've become so career-focused and my family has adjusted to it ? Is it tenacity in seeing through what I've started? Is it that I feel like I'm wimping out on my boss to whom I've worked so hard to prove myself as a superwoman because that's what she is?
In any case, I know it's the right decision and my girls will benefit. Besides, they've been praying that mommy not be so stressed and short with all the time after a long day at work - out of the mouths of babes seen from the rearview mirror, right?
Cheers and thanks for indulging this mommy.
For those who do not know me intimately, I am an elementary school principal for a large urban school district - the 7th largest educational bureaucracy in the U.S., in point of fact. For the last two years I have set about improving the efficiency of the systems we employ to handle academic and operational concerns (and never the two should meet, in my humble opinion, as the former is the core of our work and the latter, the great distractor), moving out the door those not there for the sole purpose of serving children, on the children's terms and focusing on instructional strategies that improve teaching and learning. For my work I have been well-paid, as well as gotten payback (in the form of a threatening, harrassing and extortionist letter, anonymous reports to the fraud office that I have been embezzling public funds - mind you, I've also been accused of being the biggest cheapskate with public funds ever b/c I go over every purchase order, limit the travel to conferences of my employees, etc. and constant reports to my boss' office of alleged wrong-doing.)
Enter my old district, a modestly-sized organization serving a mere 60, 000 students. They offer me a school 2.3 miles from home, a pay rise (albeit modest), my girls can walk to their neighborhood school, one month off in the summer with my girls (as opposed to 2 weeks) and more support from the ranks above in the process of weeding out the poor quality teachers.
A gift from above right? License to have a better work/life balance, right? Then why am I so upset about letting go? Is it that I've become so career-focused and my family has adjusted to it ? Is it tenacity in seeing through what I've started? Is it that I feel like I'm wimping out on my boss to whom I've worked so hard to prove myself as a superwoman because that's what she is?
In any case, I know it's the right decision and my girls will benefit. Besides, they've been praying that mommy not be so stressed and short with all the time after a long day at work - out of the mouths of babes seen from the rearview mirror, right?
Cheers and thanks for indulging this mommy.
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